A little drop of Poison
by TheQueenAndHerSaviour
Summary: Mistakes are hard to forgive, and Emma has made a big one. Can they get through the past and learn to love each other again, or will they move on?
1. Chapter 1

It had finally come down to it. Regina and Emma were going to divorce. It had been a long time coming. _'Maybe you were never right for each other,' 'I can't say I'm surprised, honestly,' 'you didn't seem like a couple recently, we barely ever saw you together.' _They couldn't decide if this was supposed to be comforting. It wasn't. They'd been together for seven years, married for four. No amount comforting words would help. It wasn't until recently that it went wrong. They'd been so in love…

Until Emma fucked Regina's assistant.

'_I hate you! I hate you so fucking much!' Regina spat through the tears. Her assistant had the decency to get out. 'And you're fired!' She called after her. Emma just got dressed slowly, looking to the floor. _

_Regina sped down stairs, and grabbed a bin bag. She then proceeded to throw all of Emma's clothes in to the bag. 'Get out of my house.' She spat, attempting to sound threatening, but her tears betrayed her._

'_I'm so sorry.' Emma had said, panicking. Regina felt physically sick; she could've vomited all over her wife at that moment. In fact, she almost wanted to. How could she embarrass her like that? Betray her like that? They were supposed to be in love. _

'_Get. Out. Don't make me say it again. Come back for the rest of your stuff when I'm not here. I'll be calling my lawyer in the morning. Go to David's.' She muttered the last part, wondering why she was giving such advice; she shouldn't care where Emma goes. _

_She took her bag full of clothes, and left. She didn't trust herself to speak. Emma couldn't quite believe the monumental mistake she'd just made. _

Regina held the pen tightly, questioning if this was right. She didn't want to doubt herself, as she remembered the nights she spent crying, the days she spent refusing to get out of bed, and the days Kathryn spent at her side. Ruby visited her a lot too. Even Belle had been around to cheer her up. But she couldn't help feeling some doubt about this. They had been together for so long.

'_I hate her so much, Rubes.' Ruby just held Regina close, and let her cry. 'I just hate her so much, I do, I just- I hate her.' The Mayor would never let herself get in such a state, usually. But she simply couldn't help it._

'_I know, I know. Come on.' She muttered, in attempt to console Regina. It didn't work, she just cried. She felt pathetic. So she tried to pull herself together. Of course, it wasn't permanent. _

'_Sorry, Ruby.' A small smile came from Ruby. 'It's just- Can I be honest? You won't tell anyone?' Ruby nodded, muttering 'Of course.' 'It's just; I didn't think I was capable of love. I didn't think anyone would ever love me. The town hated me, I was completely alone.'_

'_But then I met Emma, and everything changed. I felt like a much better person, I felt wanted. I made friends; I had someone by my side I could be honest with. She knows everything about me, my deepest fears. Everything. She knows how insecure I am about being left, and she'd tell me she was scared of commitment, but it was different with me.' _

'_Which obviously isn't true.' She added bitterly. _

Regina knew it was right, those memories reminding her of why she filed for this. Her pen touched the paper, and all her good memories came back. Those memories that reminded her why she'd loved Emma with all of her heart. The truth was, she still did love Emma despite what she'd done. Despite what had happened…

'_Emma, where are you? I've been gone all weekend, and you don't meet me at the door?' She said with a slight laugh in her voice._

'_In here, babe.' Regina followed her voice, in to the kitchen. Emma was stood holding a basket, smiling at her girlfriend with eyes filled with love. 'Come with me.' _

_She followed Emma in to the garden, and saw a lovely blanket on the grass, underneath her apple tree. There was wine, and a small portable CD player. She'd obviously spent a while doing it. Regina looked over at Emma, and noticed a small blush covering her cheeks. 'I hope you like it... I just missed you.'_

'_It's perfect.' And it simply was. They spent the next hour talking, laughing and kissing. Emma had made Regina a CD with all her favourite songs and the songs which reminded her of the Mayor. 'Thank you, for all of this.'_

'_It's okay. You know I would give you the world if I could. So I just want to give you… Our world, in its best possible way.' Emma shook her head, embarrassed. 'That didn't really make sense.' _

'_It did. I love you.' Regina settled in to the crook of Emma's neck, and they lay on the blanket for a while, enjoying each other's company, in each other's arms. _

_Regina's eyes shot open when she felt water on her forehead. It was raining. Emma looked up at the sky, saddened at the perfect moment being ruined. But her smile soon returned and she got up, and on top of her lover. _

'_We best be going inside, don't want you to get cold and wet 'Gina.' Regina just smirked up at Emma, biting her lip. 'Or I could just… warm you up.' They locked lips, and hands wandered. They giggled, and she began placing kisses on to Regina's neck. Her arms slid around Emma's back, holding her close._

_The rain however, had other ideas as. 'Shit, we better go back in.' Emma said, as she stopped kissing her neck. She placed a final passionate kiss on to Regina's lips, and helped her up. The rain fell harder and harder, soaking both women._

_Emma threw all of their belongings in the basket, eager to get inside. They went straight to bed, and spent the night making love and getting to know each other further. The next day, they went to an old cinema, and Emma took Regina on a short walk afterward. _

_It was the perfect day, and as she handed Regina her leather jacket on the way home, she knelt down and proposed._

Regina wanted to smile at the fond memory. The perfect weekend. Yet, she couldn't smile. All her memories were tainted now she'd seen Emma touching Lily how she should've been touching her. She should be the only person she touches so intimately like that. They knew each other's bodies so well. It was something that was so intimate, so completely private. She'd violated that. Emma knew things about the mayor no one else did.

_Regina moaned as Emma trailed her lips down her stomach. Placing kisses slowly. 'I love it when you moan like that.' She'd whisper through the kisses. 'I love that I make you moan.' _

_She'd remove Regina's top completely, then her bra. Though she'd feel completely vulnerable, she trusted Emma completely. 'You're so beautiful, 'Gina.' She'd kiss her breasts, slowly. That was something that would surely get Regina moaning loudly. She knew how much she enjoyed that._

_Then she'd slowly scratch her shoulders lightly as she continued her kisses. She knew from experience Regina loved it. She also knew what Regina didn't like too. She knows to hold her close as she comes undone, and whisper quietly, like it was only those two in the whole world. _

_Emma would always be careful not to hurt Regina, even when she wanted it rough. She could never see her hurt. Gentle kisses as they worked each other up and to the edge. Soft moans and whimpers becoming intense. _

_She knew Regina would become self-conscious, and would immediately put her at ease, however she could. If she wanted to stop, they did. But that rarely ever happened. During rough sex, it was definitely the mayor who was in control._

_Emma was sweet, and would cradle her until she came down. Regina would then do the same to her lover, and similarly knew everything she liked and disliked. Everything she did was to make Emma happy. _

_She knew how to make her moan, she could work her body like clockwork, yet the sex was always fresh and loving. They made love._

_Then they would fall asleep in each other's arms. Every time. _

Regina wondered if Lily liked what she did. If Emma made Lily moan like she made her moan. It disgusted her to think of that. She pursed her lips. 'Miss Mills, I hate to rush you…' Her lawyer said, watching Regina intently. Kathryn was beside her. She took her free hand and squeezed it. She hadn't seen Emma since she'd thrown her out two months ago. Kathryn and Ruby dealt with her. They'd taken sides, though Ruby said she'd try not to.

'I can't do it today.' With that, Regina stood. 'I'll sign it in my office, when I'm ready.' Her lawyer nodded, knowing anything she said would be ignored. Still hand in hand with Kathryn, she left.

'When you're ready, okay?' The mayor nodded, silently thanking her friend. It was too soon. She needed to heal. She needed to have a night out, and forget for a while. She had thought about the situation with Emma in great detail.

Regina knew she wasn't blameless, but she didn't go and cheat on her wife when it got tough. She really hadn't been the best person to live with, but surely that wasn't an excuse. Her friends had told her not to blame herself. She didn't want to, but in some small way she did.

'_Kath…' Regina looked up at her friend, eyes red and puffy. 'I think I drove her to it.' She'd said the words so simply. Kathryn shook her head profusely, frowning._

'_No you did not. I don't know what happened between you both, but nothing should drive you to cheating. It's a conscious decision from the two involved. I should know.' The last part was muttered, a frown etched upon her face._

_Regina didn't know what to say, so she gave a small smile and stood. 'Another coffee?' She offered, looking in the direction of 'Granny's'. _

'_Yeah, go on then.' They walked in silence. It wasn't until they'd sat down in 'Granny's' with their coffee's the conversation continued. _

'_I still love her, and when I think about what she did… I can't make sense of it. We hadn't been close the past few months, at all.' Regina didn't divulge quite how far apart they had been. 'But I thought she'd talk to me, explain, like we used to.' _

_Kathryn only nodded. 'It doesn't make any sense. It never does.'_

'_Thanks for being here.' In that moment, Ruby came over with some hot chocolate. She sat next to Kathryn, looking across at the mayor._

'_Just finished my shift… So I was thinking, if you both fancy it- A movie night.' _

'Look, you've had a rough day. Let's go out tonight.' Regina looked dubious. 'I'll call Ruby and Belle; we can have a girl's night out.' Though wary of running in to Emma, she finally agreed. Honestly, she could use something to take her mind off everything right now. They always helped take her mind off things.

Regina was at home, getting ready for her night out. She was thinking about Emma and everything her wife had done. She wanted to understand. She wanted answers. Regina concluded she was just about ready to give up on love.

But she was going to push her out of there tonight. They all went out, they all got drunk. It made for a good night, Belle kissed Ruby and Kathryn was sick all over Granny. She'd apologised, but it wasn't heard over Ruby's booming laughter.

They'd ended up doing karaoke at Kathryn's. They were all surprised to learn she had her own karaoke machine. But apparently she loved it. They all sang, badly. Kathryn began with 'The Spice Girls' – 'Wanna Be'. They all cringed at the sound. Ruby continued with Tom Jones' 'It's not unusual'. Her attempt at his accent and strong voice whilst singing was hilarious, it was a like a train wreck. Regina couldn't look away.

Belle next, she sang 'You're gorgeous' by 'Baby Bird' to Regina. Who laughed and blushed the whole way through. When she'd done, Ruby couldn't help but call, 'As gorgeous as Regina is, wasn't that aimed at Mr Gold?' She muttered a 'shut up' and shot her a look, whilst Regina took her turn.

She was way too drunk to care about how foolish she was being. She sang 'Don't you forget about me' by 'Simple minds' with as much feeling as she could muster.

She had a better voice than expected too. Laughing, all the girls fell asleep finally at Kathryn's on the sofa. Tonight had been a great night, for them all. Regina's mind was relaxed for once, not thinking about Emma.

Not thinking about still loving Emma with all of her heart.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

Emma was sat holding the pen, looking intently at the divorce papers. She couldn't believe that she was actually going to finalise their split. She was sat with Mary Margaret and David, tears in her eyes. Though this wasn't her choice, she had to sign it, she had to do what Regina wanted, since this was all her fault. 'Look, Emma, we know you made a mistake. It wasn't working, obviously. You just need to let go.'

Mary Margaret put a comforting arm around Emma. David nodded, agreeing with his wife. Her 'mistake' had cost her everything. She could still remember Regina's look of horror, then humiliation, and finally anger. Though she pretended not to be hurt, she could see it in her eyes. She can still remember everything.

_It was a drunken mistake, the first time. It happened at Regina's office party, ironically. She'd ignored her all night, like she was embarrassed to have her wife there with her. She would constantly make Emma feel small in front of her co-workers. As if she didn't feel good enough for the Mayor already. _

_All the council members were there, and they were all up themselves. So she got drunk. Initially it was to feel better, but then she thought it would be a great way to embarrass her wife. She was very drunk by the time Lily took her in to Regina's office and made her a coffee. _

'_Drink this. You really need sobering up.' She laughed at Emma's antics. She was quite drunk herself. She took the coffee, and set it down on her wife's desk, avoiding sobering up at all costs._

'_Thanks, you're really nice. You're lovely. So thank you for trying to help me.' She smiled widely. 'Lily, right?' The girl nodded. She was slightly younger than herself. They were close, and she isn't really sure why she did it. She kissed her. It escalated to a quickie in the mayor's office. _

_The next day, Emma dropped by Regina's office to deliver her some dinner, for no reason at all. Whilst she was there, she confronted Lily, they said that was it. Never again. The guilt however, didn't agree. She was desperate to tell Regina, but she just couldn't lose her. Couldn't lose the love of her life. That thought alone made her throat hitch. _

She remembers watching Regina sleep. The guilt keeping her awake, she would watch her wife look so peaceful in her sleep. Emma could feel the tears pricking just remembering that.

So for the next few weeks, she avoided all situations which meant she was close to Regina. She stopped holding her during the night, stopped making love, and stopped having deep conversations in to the early hours of the morning… That was when they started to fall apart.

_Still, she doesn't know why she did it. Emma went to see Regina, she wasn't sure what for, she just wanted to. But Lily was there. Again, she wasn't sure how she managed to fuck things up quite so much. _

'_Look, we can't talk here, but we do need to talk about this.' Lily whispered. Emma knew that they would have to talk soon, so she agreed to meet her on her lunch. She abandoned seeing her wife. _

_They'd talked, and connected. She didn't love her, she knew that. But something sparked, and she missed that. She hadn't connected with Regina for so long. Her wife only connected with her work, these days. This was so refreshing and new. Then they kissed._

_She felt wanted. She hadn't felt wanted in so long. Lucy made her feel good, again. _Even if it was fleeting.

_Emma brought her back to the house because she knew Regina was at work, it didn't occur to her that she may come home at any moment. Her mind wasn't clear. She thought she heard the front door open, but figured she was just paranoid._

_It wasn't like it was when she was with Regina. This wasn't making love, it was fucking. There was no other word for it. When she whimpered, it didn't sound like her Regina. She remembers that thought sticking with her when she looked up and saw her wife's horrified face at the door. _

_Then she remembers the screaming and shouting. _

Emma wanted to say that it wasn't her fault. Wanted to try and blame anyone she could, Regina, Lily… But she simply couldn't. This was her fault. Months before the incident at her office, they'd stopped being quite as close as they used to be. She remembered Regina rejecting her, multiple times.

It hurt Emma more than Regina could imagine. All the times she'd tried to be the least bit romantic, or even just hold her. It was shaken off. Being rejected so many times can really drive a person away, can really hurt someone.

'_Hey.' Emma said, pressing kisses to the back of Regina's neck. The mayor's shoulders slumped slightly as she sighed. _

'_Emma, I've got to get this work done. Sorry.' She then shrugged her shoulders, stopping her wife in her tracks. She had a lot of work to get done, the mayor required this. Emma should understand. _

'_Sorry.' She was met with silence._

Every time she tried, this is what she was met with. Every time she tried, and then she received the letter which changed her life. She couldn't even discuss is with her own wife. That fateful day, a few days before the office party changed everything. She wished she'd never received that letter, and even more she wishes that she'd never gone to Regina's damn office party.

'_Dear Emma.' The letter began. 'I know I haven't contacted you, but I feel I must now. I would really love to see you again, all grown up.' She almost scoffed. _

'_I would really love to talk.' The sentence stared at her, infiltrating her mind. Why now, she was happy. She'd moved on._

'_You were quite hard to track down, you seem to have moved around a lot and so I hope this letter reaches you. Please contact me, Emma. Enclosed are my address and number should you wish to call or reply.' Emma emptied the contents of the envelope on to her bed._

'_Love Kathryn.' 'Auntie Kathryn', she recalled. She'd always hated her name being shortened, naturally, she began calling her Katie when she ran away at fifteen. _

_In that moment, she immediately thought of Regina. Shaking slightly, she pulled out her phone and dialled Regina. 'Hey honey, could I call you back? I'm just really stuck in a lot of work.' The tired voice came down the phone. Her wife was the only one that knew about her past, so many nights spent holding each other. _

_Regina had promised, profusely, that she'd always protect Emma. Always be there for her, listen to her. They had been slipping away from each other. 'Sure, see you tonight.' She managed, before putting the phone down, not even waiting for a reply._

_Biting the bullet, the curiosity hurting, she dialled the number her 'Aunt' has enclosed. Memories flashed through Emma's head. Her past playing on her mind as she waited. Something she'd never forget, something she could barely think about. _

'_Hello.' The voice said, it sounded like Katie. It made her heart stop, and her breath catch in her throat. After all this time, she'd almost forgotten her voice. _

'_Hey, it's Emma.' She managed. Her voice wasn't as strong as she'd wanted it to be. Despite herself, she couldn't help feeling anxious. The line was silent for a moment, she could picture her aunt's shocked face._

'_Emma, hello. I didn't think you'd call. But I'm glad you have.' With no reply, she continued. 'I just wanted to say James has died. It's just me now.' Emma drank the information in, sighing. _

'_I would love to come and visit you. I've missed you.' Her knee-jerk reaction was to refuse, then scoff. How dare Katie say she'd missed her, she could've contacted her anytime before this._

'_I can't believe I'm hearing this. You haven't missed me, it's been what? Ten years? More?' Again, she was met with silence. Finally, a voice sounded._

'_You know what he was like, and I'm so sorry he did that to you, to us both. You're all I've thought about, all that's kept me going. You're my only family.' Emma wanted to inform her that they weren't family in her eyes, but she didn't. Without Regina this woman would be her only family, also. _

_Katie had taken her in when she was nine. She couldn't have children herself, and when Emma came along, she jumped at the chance. James however, wasn't so caring. He liked to drink. She shuddered at the memory. After being passed around through care homes, she'd enjoyed the time at her Aunt's. Until she turned about twelve and James got worse. _

_Her aunt calling brought up everything, with him dead she should find peace. Should be able to forget about him, but memories plagued her. Emma simply couldn't deal with this. 'Katie, I can't do this. I need some time.' _

'_Wait, please.' Emma did, she refrained from hanging up. 'Listen, he's gone. I just wanted to let you know that I'm ill. That's mostly why I got in to contact with you. I'm not scared to die, but before I do, I want to make things right. You were like my daughter, I just want to see you one more time.' _

_The words sunk in. Her only family for so long were disappearing. She couldn't say James' passing bothered her, however Katie's did. She'd been good to her, despite everything with her 'Uncle'._

'_I'll call you back in a couple of days, we'll sort things out.'_

Emma remembers how distant she was those few days. Avoiding Regina, she couldn't tell her what her aunt had said. She could barely think about it, never mind talk about it. It made her feel weak, and sick to her stomach every time she thought about James.

She remembers the sickly unwanted feeling she had living with him. The office party, and Regina's behaviour toward her- Making her feel like she wasn't good enough, like Regina was embarrassed to be with her. Her only other family dying, Regina not wanting her, it made her feel alone.

It hurt.

But that is no justification for cheating, she knew it.

Finally, she resigned to calling Regina. She should explain herself, if she had any chance of forgiveness, she would have to tell Regina exactly what had happened and how she felt. She wasn't ready to give up, not ready to move on. It's just not who she is Her past was coming back to haunt her, but she wasn't going to let it win.

**A/N: Okay, sorry for taking so long to update. I keep getting side tracked! I'm not so sure about this. **


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